. . .A Little Break

Hi folks. I am taking a little hiatus and will be writing soon. Please stay tuned.

Thank You.

Beauty

Look within yourself and notice the beauty.

No Shame

Why is mental illness such a secret? There is no shame. Folks don't whisper when they have breast cancer. I ask that you are treated like all people with an illness, with dignity and respect.

I am letting go of labels and learning self respect.

Who We Are

What we experience makes us who we are; what we believe makes us who we are today.

Like water in a brook, all the energy is flowing inside of me.

Experience

Define your life as it works for you. It's like a painting; not everyone has to like it.

Remember: Love yourself.

How Do You Fertilize Yourself?

What rejuvenates you? What makes you continue life's process? Love? Music? Nature? Family?

My fertilizer is nature. When I walk through the park there always is some experience that makes me understand life a little better. It may be a dead tree going back into the earth and fertilizing a baby tree, several birds talking or a woodpecker pecking away at a tree. What I learn from the dead tree is that nature wastes nothing. What I learn from the woodpecker is persistence.

I especially enjoy the horse's hoofs as they hit the ground. The beat is so peaceful.

New

A new day, A new place (mentally); A smile on my face.

Blessings to you!

Familiarity

As I walk through the park I feel so at home. The smells, the sounds and the sights are all so familiar. The birds talking are so comforting. The leaves falling from the trees are like summer rain. The consistency of the cicada chorus distracts my mind from trivial worries. How I love the sounds the most. The water going down stream, the sounds of the horses hooves and people on their bicycles. It feels like a big hug. I close my eyes and feel all the sounds inside my body, gripping me and making me feel safe. I feel like I'm in mom's arms. I am home.

What makes you feel at home? Knowing the likeness of the state hospital? The staff, the hallways and the grounds? Do you yearn for home? Is this your home?

Recovery

Do we ever really recover or do we just bury the pain so deep that we don't feel it anymore? Will you ever recover from your trauma?

Maybe it's scary for you because that means you soon may be on your own taking care of yourself and making some decisions. Know that I am here to help you make your decisions.

Disguises

Do you feel people behave a certain way to get what they want? They disguise themselves to fulfill their own desires. When the desire is there they may change. Or, is it that we don't see them for what they really are?

Is it that I see what I want to see, so I feel what I want to feel?

Wrong

Being wrong is o.k. Was being wrong as a kid a big deal? I don't recall. I know in our culture it's difficult to be wrong. It's like we've failed. We are really just learning and advancing in our lives and experiences.

Sister, I want you to learn from your experiences. Can you try something new? Can you pick a treatment instead of refusing everything when you feel healthy and good?

Advocacy

I encourage you to always be an advocate for your loved one(s).

You cannot overdo encouragement : )!

Ask About the Good Stuff

In the past, when I asked my sister to recall the low points she would stop and think, sometimes remembering them. In loving, I asked because I didn't want her to keep going through the same cycle. I felt by asking she would not repeat it.

What may seem mundane to you may be joyful to your loved
one(s). Don't forget to ask them about their good stuff.

It is not in my ability to change the outcome.

Wellness

Whatever occurs will occur. It may happen in the time frame you've prescribed, or it may not.

I trust myself to guide myself.

Cycles

Mental illness goes in waves. There are calm days and stormy days. The storms come less frequently. I look forward to times of peace.

I now know that life will never be calm all the time. It is not the nature of life's cycle.

Peace is inside of me. There is a part of my soul no one can reach.

Courage

Have the courage to ask.

My sister always has the courage to ask. In the past, I was not always ready to be with her and she was emotionally courageous enough to put herself out there for a no.

Sometimes the feelings that pull me apart help put me back together. I am healing.

Letting Go of Control

Life is scripted; live with integrity.

Purpose

Wisdom: It is not important to tout your purpose or talk about it, just let it be your essence. Emit kindness, support and literally walk into your situation with open arms.

When interacting with my sister it was helpful just to enter a moment with a warm welcome and a hug for her.

Belief

Teach me how to live life. How will I get through each day? Expensive therapies, medicines, analysis. Teach me how to do it. I am on my own once I leave. How do I live? How do I do my life?

I felt these thoughts for my sister when she was leaving the institution. Everything was so controlled and structured for so long. How would she live?

Belief. Whatever your choice, go, do and follow what you believe in. G-d bless you.

Acknowledgement

How do I share? How do I hear myself? Can you understand yourself?

I feel we have to learn to live with our challenges. Everyone is a shining star. There are moments each day to have sadness, joy, humor, pain and love. Enjoy your shining moment(s).

Sorry for being late with this entry.

Relationships

We all search for something or someone. Everyday we must nurture ourselves. There are many distractions.

Begin relationships with other things besides people: nature, animals, etc. This offers healing.

Focusing on experience brings me joy. I'll see you Tuesday, July 28.

Love

I always have to remember I have love in my life. Love is a special gift. Be open to the love in your life.

People are there for you, take a moment to enjoy the love in your life.

Hindsight

Knowing we can look back and learn, sometimes may be frustrating. I am letting go of saying, "I wish I had."

Happy Summer. Please raise your head and look up at the sky.

United

United we stand.

I want to make it o.k. to talk about mental illness. I encourage folks to feel comfortable seeking help and discussion groups to support their caring for a mentally ill loved one.

Hidden Treasure

Please take a moment to share a random act of kindness today and let this be a hidden treasure for someone you know or just meet.

Happy July 4th. See you Wednesday, July 8th.

Love

Have you hugged yourself today?

We each give so much of ourselves each day, so take a moment and give yourself a hug.

Enjoying Moments

Enjoy the moments of time with your loved one(s) before they are memories.

I am learning to enjoy moments with my sister as they happen. I am working on being present when we visit.

See you Monday, June 29.

Personal Growth

It does not matter if you are a brick layer or the person living in the brick mansion. We all are here to experience and grow. There is no immunity to personal growth.

Picket Fences

It is important to continue emotionally investing in the relationship. It is not healthy to hide your feelings. You need to keep working.

What happened to the white picket fence? The fence broke. We are rebuilding it. This fence is different. It has many colors and the posts are different sizes. It works. The weeds come back around the fence and we have to care for them like we care for you. Love you.

See you Monday, June 22.

Getting Lost

Everyone has their place in a family. Know that you are loved. Whether you are the first child, the last child or the only child, you are loved!

I remember my sister sharing with me that she felt lost in the family. I came along so quickly, that she felt that she did not get the attention she needed. Only 14 months separates my sister and I.

Breaking Out

When you break out of your silence, anger and frustration it is a relief. Selfishly, it makes me feel better. I am happy knowing you feel better.

Just like the seasons change, so does your disease.

See you Monday, June 15.

Secrets

Discard the labels and remember to love yourself. Tell yourself, I am worthwhile.

When we are treated in a positive manner, we are conditioned to be positive. Why is mental illness such a secret? I used to say to folks, "she's not well." Please let there be no shame.

Music

Music heals. Go enjoy some music.

My sister loves music and began to take keyboard lessons. She now has another healing avenue. Sometimes we talk about our favorite songs.

Joy

Love, love, love plus Patience, patience, patience equals Joy, joy, joy.

See you Tuesday, June 9.

Clarity

When we have a destination our mind is clear. Pick your destination.

Flawless

Other people's expectations sometimes set us up for difficult emotional times. You do not have to be the best, just be the best you can be.

Momentum

Create positive energy for yourself. Find the places and events that generate fuel for your soul and on some level, participate.

When you are going in the right direction and doing things that make you grow inside and out it takes less effort. Through working and playing with others the momentum will begin.

Happiness

We can strengthen or weaken our mind. It believes what we tell it. Speak happiness.

My sister inspires me to be a better person. She has endured a lot of rules. I am grateful for my freedom of choice and the ability to thrive in the world the way that it works for me.

Set It Free

Set it free. It is o.k. to share how you feel. Happy, sad, frustrated, angry, joyful, stuck, free. . .

Sometimes I would let my sister consume all of my thoughts. It would anger me. I would make a point to get out and experience the joys of life.

I tell myself, "You are a part of my life, but not my entire life." This is your path. I lovingly place my energy into the actions that I have decided to take with you.

See you Monday, June 1.

Unscripted

So much of what we say does not come from our voice. You may offer a hand to be held, a hug or a gentle touch. You may offer this to yourself, too. One person cannot satisfy all your desires and needs, except for you.

When I would go to visit my sister, I learned to put my needs and desires aside and not turn the visit into my time. I learned that this was her time to savor the company. I shared in her peace for a moment of time.

Silence

When I participate in relationship with my mentally ill sister silence is o.k. I do not have to speak. Silence is peaceful.

I learned that I do not need to ask a bunch of questions. It is so hard sometimes to just let it be; to sit quiet and not talk. I am savoring the quiet.

Ocean

Do the things that make you happy. Fill up your tank, so you may lovingly give.

The ocean takes my pain away. So much peaceful energy. The sound, the smell, the taste - mmmmm. Thank you for this medicine. Oh, how I long for you. Something so powerful brings so much inner peace.

See you Tuesday, May 26. Blessings.

Got Guilt?

Say, No Thank You and let go of guilt.

Come from a place of loving and realize that you are not in control of the outcome. You are not the person that is going to push the person over the edge. It took me years to realize that my behavior is not going to change the disease of mental illness. Just be yourself.

Unconditional Love

No matter what age, it is o.k. to hold your loved one like a baby and share unconditional love.

This discovery comes out of loving and knowing that when I love someone so very much I give more and it takes more, and it is o.k.

Define Yourself

When someone is not well it is comforting for folks to have a diagnosis.

Don’t succumb to a label. You define yourself. It is soothing for us outside of your world to have a diagnosis. It is just a term that gives us comfort and an answer. You are able to define yourself. Your illness does not need to define you. You are a person. . .

Fit for a King

Live within your means and you will lead a rich life.

A friend recently shared some beautiful pictures with me and this robin caught my eye. So grateful of his catch - Enjoy your catch of the day!

Expression

Do not be afraid that you will miss something when speaking words or that it may come out the wrong way; just let the conversation be honest.

See you Monday, May 18. Enjoy Spring's scents.

Communication

In communication with yourself and others, it is important to keep your word. Pause, and taste your words before you share your thoughts.

Life

The blessings of life. New little ones with their mama. Our heart welcomes them as they come to life. I am grateful for new life. The warmth, the smell and the dreamy state. Spring offers new life. Venture outdoors and enjoy the gifts of Spring!

Open Up to Your Feelings

It's healthy to feel your emotions. Go forward and do the best you can each moment of your life.

Some folks feel they don't like to read too much about mental health because it constantly makes them feel like they're missing something inside. It's o.k. "Take what you would like and leave the rest."

Have a blessed day...

Sunshine

Out of sadness comes sunshine. Sometimes it is scary to share about the hurt life may bring. Coming from a place of love in my heart heals the sadness. I stand before you with open arms and an open heart.

The other day there was a lot of bitterness and anger coming toward me; it hurt. I realized it was not inside of me. To help me in offering loving support, I literally held my head high to the sun and felt the warmth. I then gathered my strength.

Happy Mother's Day

Please repeat after me, "I am taking a moment for myself today!" Take a breath, aahhhh, and take time for yourself. Hugs, kindness and love. Happy Mother's Day. See you Monday, May 11.

Helping Hand

If offered, accept a helping hand today : ). Enjoy!

Mother Nature's Message...

Mother Nature does not tell us no. She slows us down by her actions, weather. So many people may tell us we can’t do this or you don’t fit here, but she accepts us as we are. She does not try to make us fit in a box or label us.

Free Your Spirit

I recommend living in the moment and enjoying nature's lessons. Happy May!